9.11.11

I spent the summer of 2001 interning in Manhattan. Many nights, I'd run across the Brooklyn Bridge and take in the incredible skyline--panning the view, Statue of Liberty started it out on the left, Twin Towers, then all of the other incredible buildings and skyscrapers that make NYC what it is.


On August 5, 2001, I left the Marriott World Trade Center hotel after an evening out, remarked to my boyfriend at the time that I always wanted to eat at Windows on the World, and was reassured we'd be back to do it. 


On August 8, 2001, I flew home from my summer internship in Manhattan, excited about the possibilities of returning the following year, to start my career in magazines after graduation.


And then, like every single reader pausing along these words, I remember exactly where I was and who told me about the attack on our country on September 11.


But what was so selfish of me--I mean really, incredibly selfish and so typical of someone who is 20-years-old and ridiculously "world revolves around me" involved--is that I wasn't just sad for New York and DC and the families and people affected by the events--I was sad because someone ruined the NYC I loved. 


Although it had been smoldering for quite some time, I think my journalism dream was completely extinguished that day.


Best part about it is the sense of relief it brings knowing I did what was right for me, 9/11 or not, and the joy that I am currently experiencing because of the paths I chose instead.


Ten years is a long time. I think about the growing up that I did in the last ten years--the changing and evolving as a person into the daughter, wife, mother, friend, sister that I am today.


As Americans, look at the changing and evolving we, too, have done. Some for the better (remember September 12th? Remember that sense of everyone being a friend and the true unity our country experienced?), some for the annoying (oh how flying is such a pain now!).


Every year since 2001 I've been a little less emotional on this day. It comes, I suppose, with time and distance from the event. As much as the media wants me to sit in front of the TV and cry for hours today, I won't. I will meditate, and send peace and loving kindness to the world. And then I will reflect on the joyous things in life--the ones that make me smile. We need more smiles on this day. 


As you reflect on the milestone of this date, as you are bombarded by images in the media over and over again, take time to look at you, at how far you've come, at the joy you have in your life even on what is a day of sadness. Appreciate the growth and change that ten years can bring to you, to your neighbors, to the world.


On August 5, 2011, I celebrated my pint-sized ball of energy turning two.


On August 8, 2011, I continued to revel in this second pregnancy.


On September 11, 2011, I reflected on the joy in ten years of growing.