4.20.11

Greg and I sort of pride ourselves on being fairly laid back parents. Will has been a fairly easy tot to this point--tantrums aside, he's been a good eater, good sleeper, more happy than fussy--and I think there's something to be said for the energy you give off and what your kids pick up on. Our energy typically says, "No worries sweet babe!"


Until we go in public. 


As Greg's plane landed from California, I was walking that fine line between "No worries" mom and that mom. 


Oh who am I kidding. I fell off that high wire as soon as we walked in the gymnasium. Balancing act I was not tonight. 


We went to see Will's Auntie VaVa perform in her jump rope exhibition. It was 45 minutes of entertaining Will for one minute, distracting him and calming melt down brinks two minutes...entertaining one minute...meltdown avoidance two minutes...and so on.


I sat on the bleachers, I crouched in the bleachers, I bounced him on my lap, his grandad bounced him on his lap, we clapped our hands, he flailed his hands, we had snacks, we cuddled, my blood pressure rose, my blood pressure fell, my energy exuded impatience and agitation, and Will picked up on every single cue; in between it all we just wanted to climb, whine, flee, and do whatever possible to make me appear to be, yes, that mom.


You know...the one with the screaming kids who interrupts your Target-Starbucks moment of solace in the world. 


And then Will fell down the bleachers. Just one bleacher, really. 


He landed on his rear, but scared the dickens out of himself and then I really was her. 


Somewhere in between ripping jump rope props from his vice like grip and then carrying him with legs kicking elsewhere, we (read: my family) decided it'd be a swell idea to go grab dinner.


I needed a margarita anyway.


And you know how the night ended? With Will on the floor, under the table, holding my various used up Starbucks cards, shopper discount cards, and packets of sweet n' low and splenda, as though he were hosting an underground poker game for himself and the table legs.


At least, in that moment, my energy wasn't one of extreme agitation and on-edge stress.


At least, in that moment, he wasn't disturbing anyone else's solace. 


I give thanks to the netting that caught my fall from this high wire balancing show tonight. I think this act may need work. Then again, I'm fairly certain that's just part of this thing we call "motherhood."